"How can creative questioning and meditation improve self-understanding and mental well-being?"

Everyone does it. Whether we want to be willing participants or not, those questions, statements and general thoughts keep coming. Sometimes they trickle in. Often times they bombard us. Our minds constantly want to know, "What's the current situation? " What about the future situation?" "How are you going to handle THAT?" On an on. Non stop chatter all day - if you let it- until you give it answers. And we all know it wants answers!

In some ways our minds are a one stop shop. They have questions and answers already prepared. It's like being on autopilot whether you want to be or not. We have conditioned our minds to think and believe in certain ways and the results are continued, familiar thought patterns.

This may be an incredibly functional or dysfunctional way of existing, but it's ours and for a variety of reasons we are comfortable there. If we continue to operate this way, the great likelihood is that our future self will be very similar to our current existence.

Do we want it to be that way? Does it have to be that way?

Consider the following scenarios that many of our minds ask in one form or another and the possible response:

1. Mind's question:"Are you really going to try to get a workout in when you know that you have to pick up kids at 6:00 pm, make dinner, clean it up and help with homework?"

Mind's answer: "There's no way that's happening. I'm not working out today. Maybe tomorrow or the next day. That's too bad, because I feel out of shape, but it's not in the cards today."

2. Mind's question: "Are you qualified to apply to that job? Do you think you will be successful at it? Can we afford to take this chance?"

Mind's answer: "I'm not sure if I'm qualified for that job. I think I'll wait for something else to come my way and let this one go. I think it's going to be a waste of time and resources since I know I don't have everything they are looking for."

3. Mind's question: "What am i going to do next year when all the kids are out of the house? I've been a stay at home parent for 20 years and have no idea what's next for me."

Mind's answer:"I have no idea what I'm good at anymore. I don't have time to think about this now. I have a school meeting at 7 and am supposed to take the dog to the vet before that."

This non stop series of random Q&A's in our heads can get extremely loud, overbearing and annoying. A quiet mind is often what we need but rarely get to obtain true answers rather than dismissive ones. The peace associated with a quiet mind allows us to better understand who we are right now and who we want to be.

How do we quiet our minds to gain the clarity and peace we so desperately need? A few options come to mind.

Many people use meditation.. It takes practice to ensure that unwelcome thoughts don't invade your meditation, and like most things the more you do it, the better your get. I recommend trying to meditate every day for a few minutes. Find a quiet place when you know you won't be disturbed to reflect daily. Start with 5 minutes and add a minute or two to as you master this art. There are many free online resources that will help you learn how to meditate effectively.

Other people resort to exercise, meeting up with friends, reading, walking in nature. What do you do to quiet your mind?

These tools can also provide clarity in your head. They can help clear some place to enable a helpful Q&A rather than the unwanted chatter.

The next time your mind starts to wander down the path of chatter and annoyance ask yourself, are these questions helpful to me? Can I take a minute to really think about and change them?

Teaching the mind to ask helpful, broader and more creative questions could change your entire outlook. Rather than crowd your head with "what's for dinner tonight?" and "do I have time to stop at the grocery store to figure out dinner?" consider taking a minute to think and ask instead "If i go to the store, what can I think of buying so that I have dinner ideas for the next 3 nights?" It's a simple ask, but the results are pretty nice.

Before you read on, think about the answer. How could you, right now, make that happen? Could you go online and google how? Could you buy, for example, a bunch of chicken breasts on the weekend, cook them and use them for salads, enchiladas, pasta dishes, panninis etc? Could you afford a meal service that is delivered to your house?

If you habitually ask creative, broader questions and challenge the smaller ones that you are will change your thinking, actions and ultimately your results. Perhaps now you have more freedom to do some things you want to do rather than only the things you have to do.

If dinner involved putting a few already made ingredients together, maybe you would have the time to work out before you go to the school meeting. Or maybe you would stay a little later at work to finish a project so you didn't have to work on it at home. This could mean more time to spend with your partner or kids. There are so many ways to spin this.

With respect to scenario 2, what could you ask yourself instead? How about, "Even if I don't have all of the skills required, what makes me a unique candidate? Do I bring certain relatable skills that others might not have? When/If I get this job, how could i make sure that i stay ahead of the curve? Could I take classes? Could I do personal research? Read books?" The list of helpful questions is plentiful. You may have to dig a little deeper to find them, but they are there and worth asking.

What's your mind currently asking and answering? Are you ok with these questions and the subsequent thoughts and feelings that result? Would you prefer to think and feel differently about your current situation?

The good news is that if you don't like the questions your mind is asking, you have the power to change them. Quiet your mind and give it a try.

I work with clients on this topic as well as many others. Book a free coaching consultation with me at Aperture Coaching and let's talk about your mind's current conversations.

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